In love, I am a very physical person. I need to be able to stand next to my partner, to feel them, to hold them and to kiss them to truly feel their presence in my life. I’ve always been this way, since I was young. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for around two months now and the fact I can’t hold them has been on my mind a lot lately. I’d love nothing more to wrap my arms around him. I’ve started to consider seeing someone else behind his back for as much as I adore this man, I need his touch. I haven’t had any romantic physical contact in just over a year and like it or not, it’s eating me alive. I need to cuddle, I need to hold, I need to give and receive some physical love. It’s not just that that has began to make the spark feel like it’s fading between us on our end. He’s gotten boring to me now I know him somewhat well – he’s became predictable and I’m running out of things to do with or say online to him. I love him but it’s fading and it hurts. I can’t let him go because I know he will track me online, phone and text me to keep in contact to know what I’m doing even if we have split. I swore my body, heart and soul to this man but I don’t know if I can keep that promise but I wish I could, so much. This is the burden I bare because I’d rather have him than be alone with him prying anyone away from me who may get to close if I leave. I am his out of love, loneliness and fear. He is mine out of love, possession and control. This is how we are, how we have been and how we shall be until it goes down in flames.

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