I can’t stand being in the awkward and misunderstood situation I am currently in with a former close friend. I thought I’d be okay to leave things as they are, but seeing her today for the first time in forever really made me realize it’s not okay.
About half a year ago my boyfriend drunkenly cheated on me with a girl, let’s call her A, who is/was close friends with person B and they of course were friends long before I even met all of them. After my boyfriend confessed about his mistake I heard different stories from different people regarding A and eventually about B, who was a close friend of mine back then and I was confused. I was mostly bothered about B saying I wasn’t the right one for my boyfriend and that he shouldn’t feel guilty about cheating on me with A, resulting in her supporting the idea of A and my boyfriend being together.
Months later I still felt uneasy about the whole situation and I felt uncomfortable near B, I couldn’t look her in the eyes-not because I didn’t like her, I was so confused and I just wanted a little bit of time and space so I could fix this with myself first and be at peace about everything that happened. It was my mistake she misunderstood me and I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it and explain why I was acting so distant.
I didn’t see her for a few months after that and I thought I’d be ready to talk to her and clear things up when she comes back. And so, I saw her today, along with some other friends who were there, and I tried making small talk, although I still couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eyes.
I don’t judge B or believe what different people said, I guess it just got to me and I didn’t know how to act. Sure, it’s no excuse for how I behaved in her presence and it’s no excuse that I messed up our relationship. I don’t know how to fix this, but I hope I’ll fix it soon.