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a pain
15 years
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two people from 2 completely different backgrounds … sometimes i feel its impossible for this it to happen between us… his life pattern is so incosistent with mine … and i always hope that he might change how he lives… its not only that my religion doesnt approve of how he lives, its also the fact that iv never lived that life and its too hard for me tolerate him getting drunk and partying and all those stuff … its too painful for me bc iv lived a very innocent life compared to him…the reason why i kinda have some feelings for the him is because i felt he can have the heart of an innocent child if he wants to … but he is ruining it with his getting drunk habits and his s******* suggestive attitude… i hate it when i feel he’s giving me s******* suggestive remarks… i feel so disrespected and dirty… and i really dont wanna feel that way because im not dirty and im not disrespectful and iv never ‘touched’ anyone in my life… and i ammmmmm a pure person… so i want a pure guy and not a drunky partier!!!

PS: a pure guy can also be a guy who was a drunky partier but decided that he change and let go of all the bad aspects of his life and if he feels that his friends around him are such a bad influence then probably he should get away from them… That is Iffffffffffff he wants to be with me! Decide! Its in your hands …! and by the way if u have changed and u ever get in a fight with me or get mad at me … ur not teasing me when u show me that ur getting back to the way u used to live before … its ur loss and definitely not mine… so dont use this attitude with me lamma bit3assib minneh cuz its just gonna drive me away from you more and more and more …

New Confession

I met my friend in August of 2022. We met over a fandom for a YouTuber we both liked, we’d talk, shade headcanons, write, and the like. She was wonderful. She was perfect, so sweet and kind, loving, caring, passionate. Of course I fell in love with her.

Something in my mind at some point, I don’t know where, just seemed to break. I saw her as this absolutely perfect, flawless angel. Someone above me, someone above feeling the ways I do, someone so perfect she couldn’t possibly be upset by me. So I put more and more on my angel. She can’t feel bad, she’s perfect. It’s wrong, but that’s how my mind was working. I still see her as someone so beautiful and amazing.

I professed my love to her. She didn’t want it. But I pushed her on, continually telling her I loved her, over and over again professing my feelings and pretty much BEGGING for her to love me back. She didn’t want it yet I pressed on, spamming her with love declarations at LEAST weekly, hoping that maybe someday she’d change her mind.

But that’s not even the end of it. No, she was either perfect or evil to me. And whatever set me to treating her like my perfect savior angel, it all came crashing back down in reverse. All over YouTube drama. The moment she did something I didn’t perceive as perfect, I snapped. That YouTube channel we both like had been called out for being an abuser and I said it was unacceptable to keep watching and giving exposure to him, she said I should just let people enjoy things. I made an angry post about how everyone who liked that channel was enabling his abuse, got banned from the community, and I was desperate to come back. They were my only friends.

I made an alt account to pretty much stalk my angel, I was jealous and controlling and paranoid over her finding someone better than me and leaving me now that she was upset at me. I joined back in the servers I wasn’t allowed in. I listened in to a call she was in. At the same time, I was messaging her on my main account, pretty much yelling at her about how she’s funding and platforming an abuser. On my alt, I would act all sweet, I knew my relationship with her was already ruined so I thought if I became someone else, someone better, someone ideal, she’d love me.

This was the end for us. She found me out and completely cut me off, then later I was sent a document detailing everything I’ve done and that I abused her, broke her mentally, and made it so she can’t trust anyone anymore.

Reddit . Com / u / Raincandy-Angel

4 Views

Related Confessions

I met my friend in August of 2022. We met over a fandom for a YouTuber we both liked, we’d talk, shade headcanons, write, and the like. She was wonderful. She was perfect, so sweet and kind, loving, caring, passionate. Of course I fell in love with her.

Something in my mind at some point, I don’t know where, just seemed to break. I saw her as this absolutely perfect, flawless angel. Someone above me, someone above feeling the ways I do, someone so perfect she couldn’t possibly be upset by me. So I put more and more on my angel. She can’t feel bad, she’s perfect. It’s wrong, but that’s how my mind was working. I still see her as someone so beautiful and amazing.

I professed my love to her. She didn’t want it. But I pushed her on, continually telling her I loved her, over and over again professing my feelings and pretty much BEGGING for her to love me back. She didn’t want it yet I pressed on, spamming her with love declarations at LEAST weekly, hoping that maybe someday she’d change her mind.

But that’s not even the end of it. No, she was either perfect or evil to me. And whatever set me to treating her like my perfect savior angel, it all came crashing back down in reverse. All over YouTube drama. The moment she did something I didn’t perceive as perfect, I snapped. That YouTube channel we both like had been called out for being an abuser and I said it was unacceptable to keep watching and giving exposure to him, she said I should just let people enjoy things. I made an angry post about how everyone who liked that channel was enabling his abuse, got banned from the community, and I was desperate to come back. They were my only friends.

I made an alt account to pretty much stalk my angel, I was jealous and controlling and paranoid over her finding someone better than me and leaving me now that she was upset at me. I joined back in the servers I wasn’t allowed in. I listened in to a call she was in. At the same time, I was messaging her on my main account, pretty much yelling at her about how she’s funding and platforming an abuser. On my alt, I would act all sweet, I knew my relationship with her was already ruined so I thought if I became someone else, someone better, someone ideal, she’d love me.

This was the end for us. She found me out and completely cut me off, then later I was sent a document detailing everything I’ve done and that I abused her, broke her mentally, and made it so she can’t trust anyone anymore.

Reddit . Com / u / Raincandy-Angel

4 Views