i need advice.
my boyfriend of sorts and i met in a really unconventional way but both of us have become really attached. as a cynical gen z kid i don’t like to use the word soulmates but it could be applied here. it’s already difficult because we live in different countries at the moment, but it becomes more complicated because we are sort of in an open relationship out of necessity. we both struggle a bit with jealousy, and we lose hope in a future together sometimes as well. but when we step back and look at our situation together, we feel really blessed to know each other, blessed to be love for each other. it is really difficult for me to be patient, to allow him to live his life without me and know he feels the same about me. it’s really difficult also because he is straight and i’m not fully straight, so sometimes we will jokingly say we should go out and find girls together. a little piece of me begins to devalue myself when we joke like that, the part of me that is jealous and wants him all to myself. i already struggle with self worth, so when i joke that he should go out tonight to meet girls, i ache a little at the thought of another girl being with him in a way that i cannot right now.
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If he wants to be with you and you want to be with him, it’ll happen. You should think about saving up and moving to him or having him move to you. Pay for tickets together. Also, don’t be afraid to go on double-dates and allow him to do the same. Group dates are fine because it teaches you how to act with him once you are together. He’s learning. If you both feel the same way, it’ll work out.