Have you ever turned down the opportunity of being in a relationship with someone you actually loved because you didn’t love yourself enough and you thought it was a problem they had that they liked you and not someone else for you aren’t deserving enough to have love reciprocated?
I did this. It’s been a year and i haven’t gotten over them because it was the first and only time i felt genuine love for someone and i let them go because i was scared of intimacy. I thought i was ugly. I thought i was extremely imperfect. And if i let them see through my pores, one day they will leave me. So i told them i hated them only to realise after all this time that it was self hatred.
It surely helped them, they moved on. I somehow didn’t. I somehow can’t. It still hurts to this day.
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I always felt that if a guy likes me, it automatically means they’re desperate and a horny loser. Because I thought I was too flawed to be loved. The problem with is thinking this way is That it always set me up for failure and I kept sabotaging possible relationships. the first step for you is to change the way you think and learn to love yourself. Once you change your mindset and opinion of yourself, your behaviour will change, and you won’t sabotage every chance of Relationship that comes your way.
I had the same thing happen to me a couple of days ago. And she now has someone else, I don’t know why I did this but I haven’t been happy ever since it happened..
^ that is me last year…
Every girl who ever got close to me either pushed me away or jilted me, then a few of them regretted it. An avoidant attachment style results in push pull dynamics that can be difficult, but in my case what killed it was that she would get with other guys in between but hide it and lie about it even when it was obvious.
OH MY GOD. YOU PUT IT INTO WORDS. thing is with me though, i let them in and they’ve loved me unconditionally. but i have a lot (emphasis on a lot) of days where i still look in the mirror and feel like they deserve so much better than me. all im saying is trust yourself, let yourself be loved by someone and you’ll start to love parts of yourself you didnt ever think you could. i didnt ever think i could love my stretchmarks. ive had them since the fifth grade and i honestly hated them so much to a point where i asked my mom for help and she got me this special oil as a treatment. i never commited to them and im 17 now, they’re still there but my boyfriend has made me love them because he appreciates my body. find someone like that. maybe it will take a while and maybe you’ll have to go through some other guys along the way, but baby steps ok? just take things one step at a time, you dont have to pressure yourself, you dont have to rush yourself. but just believe in yourself, as someone else might and you’ll see changes within the way you feel.