I like you alot.
I never thought I could cheat on my boyfriend,but I already did it with some one I don’t events like that much. Think Ingman about that makes me feels disgusted – and disgusting.
Still, when I think of you, my heart bounds. When I’m with you, nothing else matters. Not even my boyfriend whom I love. When we walk home to the same direction, I dread the moment our ways part. Everybody moment I’m alone with you feels magical. Every hug when nobody’s looking…
The way you make me feel… I love it; it makes me feel alive again, but also I hate it; it makes me feel like I might be wasting my life.
I’m tooosi afraid to leave my relationship or to find out what you really think of me. What you really want. Or are you as confused and messed up as me?
Once when we talked and kept hugging each other for almost two hours in freezing cold weather, I knew there was something there. The way you said life was difficult, and after a long hug we looked at each other for a long time, pain in both our eyes, all you could say was “ugh… dangerous” and I nodded in agreement. You said more than once we shouldn’t part our ways, I reluctantly nodded, and neither of us made a move to leave. Once you even laughed a little after, and said “see how I’m runnin away?” and I laughed a little, and said “yeah, me too”.
It was all so adorable and se et… I was the happiest girl in the world for about two days. I could even almost o***** without even touching my self. But then it faded and I felt alone again, even knowing I would see you in a couple of days didn’t fix it. I need edes you right away, but I couldn’t tell you that on a message and I couldn’t see you.
I want to know what we are, or what we could be, but I’m also afraid to find outoa it was all a dream and all those moments happened just because we were drunk. I’m a total mess. Your ten years older than me and not even very health. Still I really really like you. And I want all of you. Your body and soul, and I want you to want me and have me. I want to be your but I’m afraid to let go of what I do have and what I think I have
