• 11 months ago
  • 0 0

“What’s wrong, (a name)? You don’t look like yourself at all”
“Sorry, Okaa-san. I… really am stressed after all. I couldn’t even find the words to begin with to describe my problem”
“It’s okay, dear. Don’t force yourself to properly explain. Just say it”
“I feel like a mad man. Mostly because I’ve been living solitarily for too long. I don’t have anyone to guide me or anything. As a result, I ended up shutting my problems and running away from responsibilities by watching anime or stuffs and then forget them. I kept repeating it and now the result the stressed got overloaded for deadlines. I messed up and forgot the most important thing to do. I thought I can do it alone but I can’t. I know I should seek for help but I was so stubborn. All because I thought people would think I’m incapable doing things by myself. I want to ask but I don’t have the courage. I want to cry but no tears are coming out. I wanted to scream but the voice couldn’t come out. I can’ tell others my problem and ended up lying. No matter how hard I try, it’s too futile. Even when I’ve given the chance to do so, I kept repeating the same mistakes. I feel like committing suicide. I failed everyone all because of my stupidity. I just don’t know what to think anymore. It’s tiring! I just wish I can go back in time and do things properly, telling myself not to be acting what I did now. Darn it! I feel of no use anymore! I don’t know what to think anymore! It’s suffering just to live a life where responsibilities are given to proof someone worthy and yet you try and fail like this! I don’t even know what’s the right or wrong order! I don’t even know what I want anymore! I know it’s my fault for making myself like this but I can only think of blaming others! I don’t even know anything anymore. Everything feel so hopeless and empty”

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