I’ve been lying about being a virgin. Truth be told, I’ve been a bad, bad girl. Mother Mary would be ashamed of me. First I did a s*** ton of cocaine and then launched an ICBM at every house of worship in the near vicinity. Then I fucked the Pope on top of the charred remains of children blown up by my missiles (in the a** though so it isn’t taking his virginity) and then I slit his throat and sacrificed his worthless life to the dark overlord. Then I did more drugs. Then I found a grizzly bear and let it shove its paw all the way up my p**** and literally turn me inside out.
Then I lost my virginity through regular ole missionary s**.
Hope my fiancé doesn’t find out!
