• 6 days ago

I miss an ex I broke up with 6 years ago. Had some since but nothing worthwhile. She made things difficult in creating unnecessary, often manufactured drama from nothing but I find myself missing her. Perhaps, I attract chaos despite often being level headed with the fact such individuals often are similar to me outside of the bullying and drama.

I miss her. Maybe it’s the fact women today are often uptight, arrogant and naive beyond compare, or it’s because my ex was on the level even when she was in hysterics. She wasn’t always like this. Just here and there and when she was it was extremely mentally painful. I usually knew why she was, as she has a few disorders but we all do.

Still, I dumped her 6 1/2 years ago for a reason but not for all the reasons would would assume. I made a big mistake and live with it and it’s not pretty. She seems as miserable and toxic from last time I talked with her. She often acts ok but I know her too well. I honestly don’t think she’s capable of being happy with her bullying attitude.

Turns out few years back she became a vegan to lose weight from all the years of med weight, yet bullies anyone in a typical hypocritical vegan fashion. What I mean is some vegans ruin it for the rest in saying that anyone that eats meat doesn’t like their dogs or animals in general. She only became a vegan to lose weight, they typical hypocrite.

This reminded me why k broke up with her yet when I’m alone or with others I still wish she was nearby. It says a lot about my mental status I am fully aware, yet it’s there. She picks fights with anyone that disagrees with her or alienates you from close friends or family because she’s so caustic and antagonistic. She gets off on it but wonders why she’s always dumped or used.

The latter, her last 3 bfs bailed because they couldn’t understand or handle her and the drama or used her for sex. I feel bad mostly for her going through this, even though I fully understand why she’s always alone, unless she has a fwb which most of us do and need.

Still, despite all her bs and issues and there’s ton, I know when she said I was the only one that understood her, she was right. She was the only one that ever understood me too and because I was so mentally exhausted from our living situation with psychopaths in our old apartment and trying not to explode and her suffocating me, it ended in me dumping her.

Despite all these easy and obvious reasons to break up with someone, I still miss her. Make your bed and lay in it, but I did feel free after she was gone, so what everyone said regarding us was as inevitable made sense. Problem is personally it haunts me. Says it all about how f**ked up I am as well. Guess we’re both meant to be alone and with fwb’s. It’s often safer but much more lonelier and depressing.

I either my life or just sick of women I’m not into even if attractive, and miss the real girls that aren’t perfect or completely sane but offer more than the Boeing drone frauds. We all have one of these but what are the exact reasons? Your guess is as good as mine.

Older you get and closer to the end especially it if is near, it hits you and it mostly makes sense why. I still miss my Ohio girl. If that makes me crazy, guilty as charged.