I’ve imagined h********** my mother many times. She was very abusive to me and my older sister growing up, and she’s still raising our two younger siblings. I just want to protect them, so I’ve imagined getting her away from them in any way possible. I’ve mostly thought about poisoning her, because it would be so easy, but I’ve found myself imagining other ways as well.
I don’t want to think about this stuff, but I can’t help myself sometimes. I want to keep my little siblings safe from her, and I worry about them so much, and I want to heal from what she’s done to me. It just feels like the only way for that to happen is for her to die.
But I don’t ever act on it, obviously, and I never will. I still feel terrible about thinking about it though
