I have an older cousin, who I think about in a way that I really shouldn’t. Every time that he comes over to my family’s place, I become turned on by just being in the room with him. I feel so guilty because I know it’s not right and I wonder if there is something wrong with me. I’m 15 and he’s 19, and I’ve never done anything with a guy before, but I fantasize about him all the time. The part that scares me is that if he every tried anything with me (and I highly doubt that he ever would) I probably wouldn’t stop him. He’s just so attractive and the fact that he’s older than me just makes me like him more. Our much younger cousin once assumed that we were getting married because they didn’t understand what i***** is or how dating works, which made me… I don’t even know what. I guess it made me feel excited and I blushed a lot. I don’t understand my emotions. Sometimes I wonder if he’s ever thought of me in that I way, and then I tell myself to stop thinking of him like that. I know that it’s bad, but is it so wrong if it’s just in my head? I really wish that the comments worked because I just want advise. Is there something wrong with me or is this normal? And why do I feel this way about him?

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