I saw my first p*** when I was 6 on Cinemax late at night when everyone was asleep. I was so infatuated with it that growing older I would intentionally keep myself up just to sneak a few more minutes of a soft core p***.
As I began to age my interest only grew and when internet was really kicking off for kids my age (like 8-10)
I found myself searching the web and watching whatever I could find pretty much.
I would watch literally any kind of p*** and I mean ANY. Weird fetishes, gay, straight, trans, animal play, you name it I would just sit and watch on my moms laptop.
By that point of course i noticed jerking off was something I was capable of.
So I did. Every day.
By the time I was 12 I had lost my virginity to a girl a couple years old than me. I was in 6th grade and she was in 8th.
I was scared at the time but after my d*** went in I couldn’t help but keep going and going and going.

My problem now is I feel like this has really upped my s** drive as an adult.
I feel ashamed I want to j******* like 3 times a day.
I feel ashamed that I will watch any kind of p*** just to get off.

To put some cherries on the top I have a girlfriend so when I watch gay p*** I feel disgusted.
I’ve never had any ACTUAL attractions to a male. Especially romantic, I could never. I know myself.
But if a guy tries to slip his lips around my d*** I wouldn’t mind.
I feel disgusted and I don’t know why I can’t change. Sometimes I’ll stop but I always go right back to my phone for the next video. I j******* in the shower, at work and sometimes in the car at night while I’m smoking.

Also I feel like I constantly pressure my girlfriend into s** and I feel disgusted with that too. I don’t know if I’m normal. Sometimes I feel I’m not. I just needed to get that off my chest.

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