I still love him. I still want to spend my days with him, but it’s dumb and unnecessary to start it all over again after all the s*** I did, I don’t want to hurt him even more, and ruin our relationship even more. I just want to be in his arms and to be told that everything is ok. I’m really f****** pathetic. I just get this stinging feeling of guilt, like my entire body shivers and it’s just too much for me. I wish I could say something, but I shouldn’t. Maybe I don’t love him and I’m just fantasizing, I have no f****** clue at this point. I just want to cry for help.
