I want to die
It’s gotten so bad that I written up a whole email to someone that is a manipulator and old friend, who I’m pretty sure hates me, I want to send this email so I can get my friends and partner to hate me so I can die without hurting them, but I’m scared, what if I fail then what, I’ll be left with nothing and no one to lean on when I need it and my parents would get a big bill because I would’ve been in the hospital. So I’ve got this whole thing planed except a sure fire way to die, also I’m scared that my partner will still care about me because I need them to be as far a way from me as possible so they won’t complete their end of the deal- if one of us dies by suicide then the other will as well- my partner is the only one keeping me alive anymore and They don’t need me here for them to live, I hate to say it but, I hate that no one is relying on me, I’m the one relying on others and I hate it, I suppose to be an independent perfect sophomore that’s strait, but instead I’m a dependent broken sophomore that’s pan, if my dad ever finds out that I’m pan then I’m dead but I won’t be allowed to die.
I want to die and I have a plan but I’m afraid of what will happen if I fail
