I am in a physically and emotionally intimate relationship with my father. He left us when I was first born and came back briefly and left again. Last year he came back for real this time and now we’re in a very involved relationship. He engages in the dd/lg aspects with me, and even likes to talk to me like I’m just learning what s** is. I love it and I hate it too. I feel awful about it, I wanted it to stay innocent. I wanted to just know my father. Now I can’t back out. It’s making me lose my mind. I have serious PTSD and depression, and have a disociative personality problem. I have attempted suicide before and I can’t help feeling like that’s the only way out. I hate myself for this. I wanted a father, not a s***** partner. May God forgive me.
