I have been married for almost 5 years now, two kids and a perfect family. But my husband never seemed to really care about me as a woman, he takes care of me as a friend but he never really did an effort to be with me. Everything that happened for us to be together was because I gave up on things to be with him. Since I have been living in the country where he is from, I always felt alone. I always felt I never belonged here. And my mistake was to not be ready to marry him, but I was in love, so in love and I thought nothing would come on our way till the day I fell in love with someone else.
And now starts the real struggle, cause I stated to flirt with this boy ( he is 21 and I’m 35) , and I really didn’t think it would be something bigger , I thought would be just online flirt since we even live in different countries. So to keep flirting with him I lied about my age ( I look like I’m 26, so I said I’m 26) and I lied about my status ( I said I was a single mother) , but I got coughed up in the feelings and I fell completely in love with him, he did for me. We met first time and it was perfect, I never felt myself some alive and loved before. And I know I should have stopped but I just couldn’t cause I was so in love and so happy with him, I wish I could go back in time and never ever had married before , and now after I few times seeing him, I am just losing my mind. Cause I don’t know what to do , if I should break up with him and stay with my husband and be destined to not really be happy in love and let this boy free or if I should take the risk and tell my husband about the betrayal and tell the boy about my lies and lose both but at least being with my mind sane. I am totally lost and I don’t have a friend to talk about. I have been living this for almost 8 months and I really don’t know what to do. Sometimes I think about just disappearing but I have two small kids and I don’t want to ruin their lives.
