Back then, I couldn’t stop wishing God for a boyfriend. It sucked having no boyfriend since birth. I wanted to do romantic stuff I see in the movies and in real-life so I turned to desperate measures. I went to dating sites, anonymous chats, I even searched ridiculous things like “how to tell if a guy likes you” or “how to get a boyfriend” and when I was close to giving up, I met a decent guy. It was such a surprising encounter because we totally connected and we were from the same country. But instead of starting off with something casual, we started by telling each other’s deep, dark secrets. And now, we can’t stop talking about serious stuff. I wanted something casual but serious. But all we talk about are something deep and it’s making me uncomfortable. We already sent each other pics of ourselves and until now, we still haven’t met in person. I didn’t want to face another heated argument between us or him so I just kept on ignoring my inbox. I realized that I was not ready at all for being in a couple. I didn’t want my single life to be over yet. l feel guilty because I still haven’t sent any reply to his latest messages and I left him hanging there. Like me, he wants to find his soulmate too. And I feel really guilty by letting it go this far and hiding like a coward.

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