I tell myself there’s a man in my head so I can ignore the fact that I want to kill the people I love. And I hate myself for it, I want to kill myself so I can’t kill them, but if I kill myself I fear my brother who’s been suffering from depression may do the same. I don’t know how that would leave my parents. I tell my therapist I believe her when she says it’s my ocd giving me a hyper sense of responsibility for my fleeting thoughts, but that’s a lie too.
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If you honestly want help, tell the truth to your therapist. They will have to report that you feel like killing which would result in your family getting out of harm. If you honestly care then tell your therapist. Quit beating around the bush and bullsh!tting. Sorry if my words are mean but you’re considering killing people.