I wish I had gone all the way with you back in november 2009 …back before it was completely too late
but really, that would have still required us both to divorce our spouses and quit our jobs in a brutally tough economy where few had any work and then me move across the country while I was broke
really the smarter move would have been in 2002 for me to try to keep you from getting away in December that last time we were dating – before Mr. Motorcycle cool guy swept you off your feet
He’s probably a much better catch than me to be honest. He’s a lot better of a man. A good man.
or maybe in spring 2003 I could have taken one last shot with you
The problem in spring 2003 is that I had started secretly hooking up with an underaged teenage girl who was in a high school class I taught… So I was so busy trying to not get caught fooling around with a student that I neglected to seize the opportunity to be with you before the window closed
Then you moved away to New York City
Two years Later I was thinking about you again… but summer of 2005 was too late… I had already made the teenage girl I had been sleeping without a condom get an abortion
It crushed her and me both and we didnt understand it would tear us apart forever
The pregnancy was an accident and kept a secret and frankly it devastated us both and we split
She struggled wth drugs and I started drinking heavily that same year. It’s never been right since then
then at the end of that summer I found out you were engaged
And I knew there went my last great chance with my first true love
and then later that same f****** month Hurricane Katrina wiped away everything Id ever hoped and dreamed for
since that storm at the end lf the summer of 2005, I have never been right
I have never been the same
I tried to move on to another even younger girl, a student in my class, and I had her move in with me right after high school when she was still a teenager
she and I are still together, and after years of trying to get pregnant , we finally have a family of our own now,
she deserves to be happy
I took her away
I should work harder to be the kind of man my family deserves
she deserves a much better man than me
you too deserve a husband like that
you deserve a much better man than me
