I’m not gonna check this for punctuation or grammar, I just wanna write out my thoughts. There’s this girl who I’ve known for years. I met her at pre-school and always thought she was a cutie the second I saw her. I myself wasn’t too charming. Anyways, skip a decade or so and we’re both I college but commute to different schools. She has a boyfriend and I’m single. Her boyfriend is a marine deployed in buttfucknowhere. Anyways, their relationship is pretty awful. I feel for her, it sounds like an abusive relationship and she’s stuck. I’ve helped her through this all, not because I wanted my shot but because I knew the relationship wasn’t healthy for her. I promise I didn’t do it to get my shot. Anyways, after this timesjip I’m kinda attractive now, I grew a beard, I toned up a little I’m not too shabby. Anyways, I begin to like her for her personality. We never clicked before, but now we can talk for hours and it feels great. I contemplate getting out of the friend zone, not because I’m hesitant of getting rejected but because it’ll drastically change the dynamic of the friendship. We’ve started flirting a little bit, but I’m unsure of it. I’m a pretty busy person but it feels like she doesn’t put effort to hangout. But when we’re together I can tell there’s something going on. So I know she does like being around me. Here’s the guilt. If I confess to her, it’s honestly only going to lead to s** and maybe a relationship that will last a year. I don’t wanna lose her, she’s a great person to be around. But I feel myself caving in. I’d settle for friend with benefits, but I know that’ll turn to more and we’ll ruin the friendship afterwards. I know something’s gonna happen between us unless I find some other girl. I don’t wanna date her because I know I’ll lose her. So I habe to find another girl to channel my emotions through.

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