I was raped by two of my younger brother’s friends when I got too drunk. I orgasmed a few times during the experience and recently I have been fantasizing about the experience. It was still an awful experience, but I feel like in the years that have past I have gotten s******* drawn to the event. I have a boyfriend now and I feel guilty because I find myself even fantasizing about the guy who did the most often even now. I hate him when I see him and I avoid speaking to him, but I would be lying if I didn’t say I’ve masturbated to the thought of him and even it happening again…

• Share on Facebook