When I was a kid I raped my sister.After school we’d be alone for a couple hours and one day I told we’d play house and she was the wife and I was the husband and I said I would show her what husbands and wives do at night and she went along with it until I had to hold her down and put it in her. She cried but didn’t fight. She never told anyone and I did it a few more times. We hardly see each other or speak now that we are grown up and I hate myself for what I did
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You should hate yourself. You can kill yourself too
You know why you have little communication with her. Go out of your way to apologise. Don’t ask for her forgiveness. Accept whatever her reaction is. You were a monster.
everyone makes mistakes your where young and dident understand what your actions could do own up to your mistakes apologize hope she forgives you and try to move on the longer you wait the harder it will be