I’ve been on taboo p*** sites. I searched young girls on google, which I’m now terrified that I’m being tracked and will one day be outed. The girls on the site look young, but it’s obvious that they are screen shots from other p*** sites of over 18 girls who look young. But I kept clicking and kept popping up new random tabs with increasingly incriminating names, until one website had a picture that was undeniably underage. I will admit to myself honestly that I am not arroused, interested, or intrigued by these young pictures, in honesty they disgust me, but i will be honest in saying that the rush from doing something so wrong was something of a climax that no other p*** has been able to reach. I have done this about 5 times over a couple of years, each time I am disgusted with myself and left feeling morally bankrupt because I know that is not who I am, and my heart genuinely aches for victims of abuse, it’s just that rush that I need to put aside. I know the damages of p*** and am working on putting that aside all together, but these acts of darkness are something that will always haunt me, and I needed to get it out.

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