my grandmom died a few weeks ago… i cried minutes after hearing it i wasn’t that close with her since she was on my dads side and he’s kinda outta the picture i lived with them for a lil back when i was 8-11 ish during summers or weekends. i hate funerals and when i heard hers was the friday after her death i told my mom i didn’t want to go because funerals weren’t my thing my cousins all asked where i was and my dad was upset i didn’t go even though i don’t care ab him i did care about her. i regret not going but i didn’t want to cry infront of everyone. i feel so much guilt and feel wrong and almost like i disrespected her. i don’t know how to make it up to her since she’s gone. this is something that will always cross my mind till the day i die
All Comments
I’m so sorry for your loss. Im wishing you love and healing. I know how it feels to have that kind of regret. My great uncle (grandmas brother) had a birthday party i didnt go to because i was depressed and didnt feel up to it. He passed away a few months later and I constantly kicked myself for not seeing him in person that one last time. I loved him a lot. But our loved ones wouldnt want us to kick ourselves. Theyd want us to move forward and not be hard on ourselves. I dont think she’d want you to be thinking about how you “can’t” make it up to her. You can I think. Make it up to her by making peace with yourself, building a happy life, and maybe finding peace with your family. I hope in time you have all of that. Best wishes