Its hard yo, self forgivness is a tough one and easy at the same time, if you have the power to blame you have the power to forgive, if you forgive others then its the same, you can forgive yourself . Youre own misstreatment will provide kidness your yourself again. Start small, give yourself a gift a week, a week with no fights, a week with no drugs, a week with no violence or whatever weapon of self destruction. The taste for that little success will make you stronger and better for next week`s gift.