A friend of a friend today made my brain shut off. I was immediately comfortable with him. He was goofy, ready for anything, laughed a lot and made all of us laugh a lot too. I think the only reason I didn’t stutter or stammer so hard he wouldn’t be able to understand me is because it was just a bunch of friends hanging out.
I had a crush on him the moment I saw him. I’m 23 and never had a crush before, never been on a date or anything. Not aro or ace or anything just never happened before.
Right now I keep thinking about him. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to talk forever. I wanted to lean on his shoulder. I wanted to kiss him. I’m terrified. I hate it. And I love it. I have absolutely zero ability to be in a relationship rn for a myriad of reasons but…at least I have an idea of what I’m looking for.
