After a long time just wanted to pen……

Dedicated to none..

I still remember when we weren’t even that close to being friends. You and I, just met online on that pen pal site. We tried to talk, you were shy. We opened up gradually getting to know each other. The waiting to see the light become green, the moments of nervouness, anxiousness, cute innocent exchange of smileys, the hi’ & hellos all made the heart so happy. Even though we never showed our eagerness may be the vibes revealed that the pull was unavoidable.

Maybe the universe was trying to make a way for getting us close to each other- maybe he knew what was coming.

Let’s go back to the days when we started sharing the same space. There was never an assurance of anything we said or what we did. Those ‘ miss you’ , exchange of love emojis, the smiles, the leg pullings, your IQ was out of the world.

Eventually our hearts fell in love no matter the denial I discovered staying away from you was becoming impossible and painful. Your making of time to be with me confirmed the same.. Cupid was playing his game.

We became close started sharing our hearts.. All of a sudden everything looked beautiful, the lyrics of the songs became more meaningful, every touch was anticipated and awaited with utmost passion. There was no dull moment.. There was never a moment when you were not in my mind. You made me happy, made me smile..

Trust me when I said you were all I wanted I meant You were a much bigger part of my whole, even though you weren’t trying to make me happy, yours was effortless, I still felt happy.

I was so engrossed that never recognized how silently in small steps the clouds of separation was lurking behind.

Everything got disarrayed we got separated heart became numbed.. The blow was too much to bear. Relentless rain followed without any hope of sunshine no matter how much my heart cried I am dying give me some sunshine give me some rays I want to restart once again.

Today when I think I feel you’re sorry but may be It’s not your fault. Maybe I came off too strong, and I’m sorry too. I know you’re sorry for your mistakes. I know you’re sorry when you can’t rectify your game But I guess I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m sorry for getting tired playing your silly game and for thinking that I ever had a chance on breaking through your walls, when you, yourself, won’t even let anyone in. I’m sorry for pulling too many false alarms. And because of you, I never thought that loving and hurting could possibly strike at the same time. I’m so tired of trying, TRYING to understand you but you just won’t let me in.

Now I don’t even know what you want, I don’t get any sign that will reassure my heart. Each passing day confirms more we are not together.. You are not with me the very thought burns my soul.

I know you’re scared, because I am too. Are you scared because you’re happy?I know you’re scared to love, but you didn’t have to make me feel like you do. But I get it; Maybe you were scared of what could the outcome be. you’re scared to feel anything deeper than deep. Maybe you’re scared because you didn’t know how to handle problems, fights or anything that relates to feeling something. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re scared because you don’t know how to make a person stay.

You’re still there in my heart and I’m still the same insanely in love with you.

It’s so hard for me to actually explain how i truly feel about you – and the hardest part is you have to pretend it doesn’t mean anything?

But I took that risk. I took every risk just to be the girl you wanted me to be. But you lost it. You lost that girl, because you abandoned her.

You asked her to stay away because you forgot everything she did for you to make you happy. You forgot how she painted your skies with colors of love ,you forgot how she understood your silence when you were in pain..You forgot that she noticed you even when she was hurting because of you

You forgot that nobody looked at you like the way she did-She’s all about you and nobody will ever love you like she did.

But you lost it.

And I want you to know that no matter how much you have hurt me, I will always be here for you and I will keep waiting.

Despite everything, thank you. Thank you for showing me a piece of your world, and handing me a piece of your heart you made me learn how to love with all my heart.