I wish I had a partner even half as thoughtful as me. No one ever just surprises me with small things on my bad days, or lets me know they’re thinking of me out of the blue. Whenever I need reassurance, I have to ask for it. No one ever goes above and beyond for me. Normally I’d say I don’t deserve it, but I’m tired of telling myself that. I do deserve someone who will treat me to coffee, my favorite snacks or other little things like I do for them. I deserve someone who can pick up when I just need support instead of me having to beg for reassurance that I’m still loved.
I deserve someone who considers me in everything they do like I do for them. I deserve someone who will write me love letters back, who will tell me what they love and admire about me back and who will make sure I know I’m appreciated back. I’m tired of being the only one doing these things and being met with “I thought we were fine??” every time I talk about them. I’m a deeply emotional, needy person and I’m stuck in a relationship that hurts me so much but I have no one else.
And being alone wouldn’t be better. Then I’d have nothing entirely. Life isn’t a fantasy and people don’t like it when you feel entitled to being treated certain ways, even if you do it for other people.
But I still wish someone out there would let me know I matter to them without me asking for it.
