I want Miss Molly Coddle from Bump In The Night to tease my b**** by dancing on it like a stripper pole and giggling at how “angry” it is. After getting it the most worked up it can be, she surrenders to it, apologizes, and proceeds to EXPERTLY tame it. She then explains that getting it so worked up was just part of her plan to make sure she had it’s full attention for comforting. Then she jumps in the washing machine, sprays herself with a beautiful strawberry/vanilla scent, and brings me milk and cookies– which she tells me to just relax while she hand feeds me by hand. She then tucks us into bed together for a cozy little nap and sweetly teases me about how not even my raging monster can resist a perfect comforter like her. I wake up later to her already taking care of my new one. She just whispers a sweet apology and tells me to go back to sleep.
