I desire to be softcore raped. Idk how to explain it.

All I know is in my fantasies I see myself kissing this crazy hot guy, right? He’s touching all over me, sucking on my neck, hitting that spot. I’m eyes rolled intoxicated. He groping me all over, squeezing my t******, my a**, my p**** and then he lays me down. This is where I snap to, ya’ know? Maybe nudge at him but he doesn’t get the message, he’s groping me harder, kissing and sucking on me more vigorously, reaching up my skirt, touching my p****. Now, I’m pushing him, but he’s pretty strong and still lost in his own desires so, he’s still not getting the message. He’s taking off his shirt now, undoing his pants and now I get vocal. I tell him, “Wait,” I put my hands on his abs as a gesture for him to stop. But he leans down onto me anyway, shirt off and pants unfastened. Naturally, my hands move up to push at his shoulders while he just goes to town on my neck. It feels amazing but I’ve got to stop this now before it goes too far ya’ know? He’s still not slowing down. Groping me all over, grinding in-between my legs. The sensations are so intense. I say, “Wait” again. Does he? No. Now I’m trying to pull myself up, turn over, out from under him, anything. He notices me trying to slither away from him and he immediately stops, raises up, looks me dead in the eyes and in the smoothest, most sensual, lust filled, terrifying voice, says to me, “Where the f*** do you think you’re going?”