I’m so in lust with my man. He’s so s***. 6’11 , 180 lbs , size 13 shoe (and the saying is true lol). He’s my big man. He’s so much more stronger than me. I’m 5’3 , 100 lbs. I love when we’re fooling around and he puts all of his weight one me. I love being smothered by him. He’s so warm and soft. We haven’t had s** yet but God is it difficult to resist him. He wants it so bad too. I want him so bad but I’m a virgin and have to wait for personal reasons he’s aware of and has respected. He’s told me about his s***** past. I think he likes it rough and erratic. Sometimes I let him play with me and he’ll halfheartedly attempt to put the tip in. I remember one time, in a tipsy state of mind, I told him to go for it. But, he said, “I don’t think you’re for this.” He’s held me down once and kissed me so hard it hurt. He seemed to be in the heat of the moment. He wouldn’t let my wrist go and just kept grinding himself between my thighs. My heart was racing, remembering what he said to me once before. “I don’t think you’re ready for this.” I felt like I was sinking. He was kissing and sucking on my neck, making me sink even further but then suddenly asked if he could give me a hickie. Lol, he’s so cute! He’s knows I live with my dad. I laughed. I decided I’d just wear a hoodie to hide it. Sometimes I want him to just do whatever he wants to me without asking. Giving him control of me for those few minuets felt so good. Yet, he’s so respectful. It’s what I NEED. Bittersweet, because it feels dangerous at the same time to give him control and that’s what I WANT. I know the types of things he desperately wants to do to me, yet he treats me like a delicate little flower most of the time. I love it. He’s been a little too rough before as well, he’s ignored me pushing away his aggressiveness before and restrained me, he’s told me to move my f*cking hands, maybe once or twice, he’s told me, “No running away” before while he was using his tongue and I love that also. He’s gonna be a f*cking beast the moment we finally have s**. OMG.
