I want to be fucked by my uncle’s friend. He’s not handsome AT ALL. Sickly pale, he’s a total creep. Ofc he’s not married, no girlfriend. I assume he just pays escorts. God, if he only knew how much I want to have sex with him, suck his cock, and let him come on my face. But I CANNOT tell him. My friends would be SHOCKED, tell me I am crazy and so on. I am too fucking gorgeous for him, definitely out of his league. And that’s the fucking point. Having sex with him would make me feel dirty, tainted, raped and the mere idea makes me horny AF. Letting him touch me, kiss me would make me utterly DISGUSTED. But it is this disgust that makes me lust after him and I feel insane because I know that’s not normal and it’s SICK.
Gosh, during this quarantine I’ve dreamed of going to his house, let him tie me up and then beg him to fuck me mercilessly. I touch myself thinking about him, his hands caressing my skin, his lips on my nipples. God, I’m definitely sick and obsessed. And makes no fucking sense. How can I feel at same time repulsed and attracted by him?
Also, I have a bf. He’s caring and hot, sex with him it’s just fine. But I don’t love him. It’s just for his looks. Everyone expects a girl like me to be with someone as handsome as he is.
I’m a such a hypocrite but I cannot help myself.