When I was 8, I was at a family members birthday party, my cousin asked me to go upstairs with him (I don’t remember what he said specifically). He pushed me into one of the rooms upstairs and began to unbuckle his belt.. I had a really bad feeling.. and I was right. But for some reason I didn’t even move a inch. That was stupid of me. he came closer to me and removed his boxers.. he then shoved his d*** into my mouth (I was laying down on the bed) I was scared at the time, but now that I’m older I strangely wish that I would have let him go further. I ran down the stairs and my cousin followed. He was told never to be alone with me and that was that. ( just a warning, I am not trying to encourage r*** of any kind, If I am offending you, just leave this post- ) now, today, I have these weird a** r*** fantasies and It’s eating me up. I am ashamed of myself for having these fantasies, and I just wish they would stop…