I am a female, who has a fantasy of being raped, and I’m scared about what this means. I don’t condone r***, as it is a horrible thing that has negatively impacted several people, but I really just want to be in that situation, without having to deal with the aftermath. Does that make me a horrible person?

I have a recurring dream of being kidnapped at night, taken to someone’s house, t****** and f***** however they want to f*** me. I get turned on just thinking about being used and forced into s**. I just worry what this says about me. Am I messed up? Is this normal?

I also fantasize about being a s** slave. That just screams human trafficking, which I know is terrible and has to be prevented. I don’t actually want this to happen to me, but at the same time I desperately do. I want to be forced and controlled and treated as an object to be used. Why am I fantasizing about the very things that I stand against?

Also, is it even possible for me to live these fantasies? Can I be used and controlled, and how would I go about finding someone to do that to me safely?