7 years
x
432 Views

My mother and father never gave me hugs as a little girl or told me that they loved me, My mother did buy me birthday gifts and buy me clothes and food but thats as far as her affection goes,
She never came out of her room because he told her not to, plus she was so in love with my father she couldn’t see straight and gave him total control over the household and everything in it, She only shows any affection when it comes to a man.. He beat me with leather belts and shoes really bad over stupid stuff, He also beat my sister brother and mother on the daily…
And he made us clean and scrub all day
While he sat down and drank beer all day,made us do military exercise and if we quit would beat the crap out of us too, He didn’t even have a job maybe one or two for a short spell..

He used to try and pay me for s** when I was about 9 Y/O and every time I would say no he would put his price up( “how about 30 How about 100”?) When nobody was around in the daytime and we were sitting in the livingroom,he had his zipper down let his d*** out then ask me to look at him, Every mountain bike I got for my birthday which was my only source of joy he would take them out ride them until they broke never to buy another one and he would do this every birthday,

He never had any empathy for anybody but him.My mother didn’t call the police and threatened me not to call.
She plays victim and acts like she didn’t hear daily beating.
After his did all of this(That’s not all he has done) He told me I will never feel as much pain as him..

Now that I’m a mother I find that sometimes I get too aggressive with my daughter and i cant calm my rage when she acts disrespectful or acts up at school.I get afraid that I might hurt her, but when she good I’m always a loving mother.

I’ve had enjoying thoughts about killing him over and over again, and I’ve also had enjoying thoughts about going on a spree and killing other abusive fathers and husbands, If I kill one would I feel satisfied?
I think if I killed one that would just make me feel better for one day..
Kidnapping one and holding him in my basement just to torment would give me a great sense of satisfaction. Because everyday is a brand new day

Thanks for reading:Miss Carter

New Confession

This starts on a sad note . I had just had my 14th birthday . No experience of s** . Only m*********** . My grandmother had been in hospital . This was in England where hospitals and all health care is free . She was told that she was going to die from terminal breast cancer . Given a choice to stay in hospital or go home and have nurses visiting her . She did not want to spend her last days in hospital . She wanted to be with her family . My mother asked her to come to stay with us . She did not work so would be at home . Her and my dad decided to shield me from the suffering . We only had two double bedrooms and a smaller one . My grandmother would stay in my room . They wanted me to move out . They had a friend who was 34 . She owned her own home and had a very good job . Allowing her freedom to choose her hours or work from home . She saw that my parents were stressed by dealing with everything . She offered to let me stay with her . I was reluctant to go . I knew her . But she was my parents friend . It was Friday after school that my parents packed my clothes in to their car . Driving me to her home . They dropped me off and left . June was the name of their friend . I had always called her Miss xxxxxx . From the start she told me not to call her that . It was June . She showed me to my room . Telling me it was my private space and i could treat it like it . Then she showed me the bathroom and toilet . Apologising for only having a bath and no shower . She liked to lay in a hot bath with a radio playing . Reading a book . She wanted me to treat her home as if it was mine . Helping myself to things from the fridge and cupboards . My friends who had seen June. Fancied her . She was blond and had a good figure . Like them i fancied her in a schoolboy fantasy way . I had masturbated thinking about her . On the first nigh June asked me if i wanted a bath to help me relax and settle in . At home we had a bath and a shower . Every night depending on how i was feeling . I had a bath or a shower . I told her i would like to have a shower . She gave me towels and i got my pyjamas . It is a large bathroom . I undressed in there and had my shower . Putting my pyjamas on after it . June asked me for the clothes that i had taken off . She was going to wash them . On the Saturday we had breakfast . June told me she was going shopping at a large designer outlet 12 miles from us . Telling me that i could go with her if i wanted to . We visited the stores . In clothes stores she held up things to show me and ask my opinion . She bought a few things . Then she took me to a lingerie store . Showing me underwear and asking for my opinion . Men were there with their wives but i was them looking at June . I thought it is me that she is with . She took me for a meal . Over the meal she asked if she could buy me something . In the end it was a pair of trainers . Expensive trainers . In the afternoon she wanted me to try them and show her what they looked like . June tried on some of the clothes that she bought . Still asking my opinion of how she looked in them . She showed me the underwear that she had bought . Asking if she had made the correct choice . That night when i was having my bath she cracked open the door . Not looking in . Only asking if i was alright and did i need anything . Over a few nights she opened the door wider . When she did i always covered my p**** with my hands . Just in case she came in . One night she did come in offering to wash my back . She didn’t wait for may answer . Getting hold of the flannel . Putting soap on it and washing me . This time my hands were covering my erection . For a few nights she did this . I was enjoying it . Then one time the soap slipped out of her hand . Falling between my legs . June reached down to pick it up . Brushing her hand against my erection . She did not say anything . Her next move was to get me to stand up . To let her wash my back . I couldn’t cover my erection . Without saying anything she was m*********** me and making me c** in the bath . She handed me a towel and told me to get dry . June was having a bath . She shouted me saying she needed my help . I went in . She was sitting in the bath . I could see her b**** . She asked me to wash her back . Putting soap on the flannel and handing it to me . I had my pyjamas on . She couldn’t miss seeing my erection in them . I washed her back for her every night . Then one night when she shouted me . She was standing up in the bath . Asking me to pass her the towel . Not only did i get my erection . I thought i was going to c** in my pyjamas . I gave her the towel and left her . After her bath she wore her cotton nightdress . Sitting opposite me i an arm chair . Just sitting there she looked so s*** . Then she sat with her knees apart . I was trying to see her p**** with no luck . After 2 nights it all changed . When she sat down . She sort of slid forward on the chair . Now when she was sitting with her knees apart i could see her p**** and her pubic hair . She did it for a couple of nights . I couldn’t help staring at it . On the second night she asked . Can you see enough . Pulling her nightdress up further . She came to sit with me . Letting me feel her . That night we had s** and i slept with her . Now every night i slept with her . As a 14 year old boy it was amazing . Some days she would not dress . Sitting in the lounge naked. She taught me to lick her p**** and give her an o***** . She started to drop me off at school . My pals did not know that i was staying with her . Only that she gave me a lift . They were all making comments about my lift . Nice comments . I had to stay with her for six weeks . My parents always saying they were sorry about me having to stay . My grandmother passed away and i could go home . When i was told . I didn’t want to leave . June told me that i could see her at any time . It made leaving her easier . My Saturdays and Sundays were spent with her and some evenings after school .

Related Confessions