I’m a female. I’ve been s******* active for years but have yet to feel h**** during s**. I went through and witnessed s***** and physical abuse when I was a child, and often wondered the extent the other victim (little boy) I witnessed being abused was. I tried all I could but failed to save him so I felt guilt about it for years. Anyway I am yet to feel h**** during s**, but often have nightmares guessing how bad the boy was s******* abused, and always wake from these horrid dreams s******* aroused and m***********. But I was broken for years about the abuse of the boy. I am trying to understand this and I will soon, and I will stop having these terrible dreams and start feeling h**** during s** like I am supposed to feel. I feel like my brain’s view of s***** things was altered because of that negative thing, so for 10 years it held my s***** arousal captive. I break free.
