My roommate and I broke the tension and just…got physical.
I think I’m just really bad and figuring out if he was holding me like a friend, or if he was holding me so we could get closer.
And at some point, we looked at each other and couldn’t hold back.
I was worried because I knew he had a girlfriend but I knew they were also fighting. And I asked “is this alright?”
Which, albeit may dampen the mood just a tad but I had to know before things went further if this was morally sound.
And they’re not together at the moment.
So we went for it.
I swear, the first kiss meant so much. I’m not one for being s*****. I almost never make the first move. But I wanted to just hold him. And I watched for a sign, any sign, that he could want more.
I thought to myself “it could have been anyone else here and he would do the same.” But how true is that anymore? There has to be something in ME he’s seeing.
It gives me shivers of excitement when I think about last night. I can’t get it out of my head how he made me feel.
And how he said my name. How he moaned a little too loudly. How he asked me to spend the night in his bed but I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable on such a small twin sized mattress. But maybe tonight I will. If he’s home. If he wants to see me again.