I had the most terrible nightmare. I had been turned into a victim for a past wrong that I had done. It was the worst feeling ever. I was constantly switching between trying to think how I could fight the ghost and despondency and letting anything end the pain. Every moment I’d hope for something different, I screw something up and it would come crashing down on me. Sometimes it even felt like the ghost and the rest of the world would try to speak to me, but figuring out what were signs and what was the intent felt impossible. I know that towards the end of that dream, I ended up simply believing nothing. I spent dream was spent either trying to fight the ghost, hoping the ghost would just take me or trying to figure out how to get out of the dream myself. I think what terrified me the most was the knowledge that those were my options and I wouldn’t accept any others. So long as the ghost was present I knew my soul wouldn’t allow me to move on. In the end I think it was my own stubbornness that did me in. I wish there was I could have figured another way out. I woke up with feeling so blue that it was enough that I needed to tell the internet.
