this isn’t where i belong, where i imagined myself being; this isn’t the way i wanted it to go, and yet i only have myself to blame. i think i can change and i hold on to the fantasy that i can be the best version of myself and i prove myself wrong year after year. i’m so close. i’m so close to something but never reaching. i’m so close to waking up but i keep dragging myself deeper and deeper to the warm complacency of an unmade bed. i have dreams of nothing and i would rather i never wake, again.
