I am sorry God for my disbelief, my impertinence, my inability to love and revere your Word, or you. I am sorry for the wasted potential that I am, for being a constant disappointment, for my every intentional and inadvertent rejection of you. I am sorry that I choose not to love my father. I am sorry for, at times, being an inattentive mother, falling below my potential. I am sorry for my idolotry with my husband, for revering a transient human being above you – and for at times idolozing my child too. I am sorry for praying so hard for this pregnancy, and taking it for granted. I am sorry I so deeply crave to hear you that I contemplate doing substances to see or hear you. I am sorry for the despair of my doubt. I have an intense need for you. I want to submit to you and please you in every way. I am sorry I balk in my own judgement of morality at stories like Abraham and his son. I don’t want to judge you. I don’t think good works can earn me a spot in heaven. I don’t think my donation counts for anything. Please Lord God just tell me where I am failing and give me the strength to do what is pleasing to you, please don’t leave me in this state of hell and doubt. Please, if I am destined for hell, if I really will never feel your presence, please give me the strength to handle it. Please let me just see you once, or just part of you, to throw myself at your feet and beg your forgiveness, to praise your name, to do something right for once in my life. Please forgive me for my hypocrisy. Please take away my love of wealth, of power, of pride of anything. Please help me love you better.