Two days ago I lost my virginity to a friend who’s got a girlfriend. I knew about her, but didn’t really care because I’d liked this guy for quite some time. My brain keeps telling me that I should care about the fact that he isn’t single, but I know I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I hate the fact that I have to keep it a secret and that it can only happen once (because of his girlfriend). There are a few things that make the situation even worse: firstly, we had s** in his grandmother’s house while she’s in hospital with cancer. Secondly, the fourth time he went in he wasn’t wearing a condom (which I didn’t know, and wouldn’t have let him do!) and so, even though he pulled out before he came, I could be pregnant. And lastly, I think things are going to be awkward between us now which really s**** because he’s a close friend and more important to me than he realises.
