I feel so useless right now. I have no idea what I’m even doing with my life. I can’t do anything. I hate myself. I keep on worrying about college when I should be worrying about the AP US History test I have tomorrow. I’ve barely even studied. I’m a sophomore in high school why am I even thinking about college?? Why can’t I just live in the moment like everyone else?
I always procrastinate on everything, even things I enjoy doing. I think about death a lot, like how everyone would react if they knew I was dead. Would they care? Does anyone care? I’m sorry to be such a downer….I wish I wasn’t like this…..I wish I was more interesting…I wish my friends actually liked me….I wish I wasn’t so disappointing…
And you know what? There are so many people out there who would give anything to be in school, to have a family, to have the luxury to worry about college. I am literally the most disgusting and worthless person…..I’m not even important enough for that level of recognition.
Don’t feel sorry for me, I don’t deserve it. I am the scum of the earth. I am nothing. I am nothing. I am nothing. I want to disappear. But I’m scared to die. But I want to die.
This is so goddamn confusing.
I wish I could get away. I wish I could live in the woods away from people. Maybe have a nice farm or something. I just want a simple life with no worries. Is that too much to ask?
But then again, that’s not helping anyone accept myself. I think the our meaning is to help one another, and if I spend my life running away then I’m meaningless.
I’m not helping anyone right now, therefore I’m meaningless.
I will never do anything special.
I am nothing.