I hate my life. I am in constant states of pain or anxiety or depression. When I see my favorite celebrities I get so sad that I will never meet them, when I talk to my friends I feel s***** because they deserve so much better than me, when I see my neighbors I get jealous because they’re all so happy and I hate everything about me. I tried so hard to recover but my parents fucked it up, they should have sent me to therapy after my sister threatened to kill me and abused me and not only 10 years after. I really don’t wanna live anymore, nothing makes sense, I don’t sleep anymore, I wake up, startled because I just fear that something terrible is going to happen, I push everyone away and still expect to be loved. I am ugly as f***, really I have crooked teeth and glasses and so many scars and no one ever called me beautiful in my whole life. I am honestly just waiting for the day I have enough courage to end this life where I seek sympathy but hate it at the same time. I’m the living contradiction and purely logically, my life doesn’t make sense.