12 years
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I woke up, started reading my book, let my hands wander a little… pretty normal… (I’m male, 40)

But this morning, for something different, I went and grabbed the lotion from the hotel bathroom and stuck a finger up my a** whilst jerking off.

It felt amazing in some ways… and the o***** felt different (was slightly worried I was going to piss instead of c**)… but the feeling I was left with immediately post-o***** – eurgh. Disgusted with myself.

Not sure why, since I deeply believe that people can and should enjoy themselves with their bodies however they want to. But you can’t help feelings and I just felt like some kind of debauched scumbag.

I’m the same person that just posted that I need to get off this website and cleanse myself. Bring my mind back to normal, healthy relations with my family.

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