I have a bathroom confession to make.

Once, a few years ago, I went to take a dump in a public restroom. I had been waiting to go for hours.

I sat down in a stall next to an occupied stall. The man beside me was talking on a cellphone.

I began to take one of my most massive and smelliest dumps of all time.
I felt great relief.

The man in the stall next to me did not feel relief. Instead, I could hear him begin to breathe through his mouth rather than his nose to avoid the stench. Then he begin talking about needing to hang up the phone as he thought he was going to pass out. He kept breathing through his mouth as he said, “Oh…the stench…”

I am that man. Sorry, amigo.