My doctor told me my birth control pills were dangerous when mixed with my crazy pills, so she suggested I switch to the implant instead. “You don’t even notice it, and it works for three years,” they said enthusiastically.

Several months in, I can understand why it works so well. Ever since this stupid thing was put in my arm, I’ve had a period almost nonstop. I get about four days off per month, and the rest is a constant lady time. I can’t even enjoy these four days, though, because it’s also fucked up my hormones so much that s** seems repulsive.

I love my boyfriend more than anything (well, other than maybe my parents, but you know). I hate feeling like I’m a frigid b****, but it’s almost impossible to force it either — my body has no interest in s**. How long will he wait, though, for someone with no s** drive? Fortunately, we’ve each had our periods of disinterest (his due to an awful work schedule), so he’s a bit more understanding than some. I know you’re not supposed to live by someone else’s happiness, but I do want him to be happy and I want to help in any way I can. I don’t feel like I’m helping.

I want this s*** out of me. It’s making me feel like I’m a zombie on another planet; ever since I got it, it’s been like a whole different, spacier world that I have no desire to inhabit for three years.