So I saw two women I sort-of know on facebook, around my age, who are following their dreams, motivated to make things, and who seem to be thriving. They, like me, are into the weird, fantasy, darker things, and they make crafts for sale and for fun. One of them actually has a successful online store. One of them is active in community theatre, has an online store, and is visiting conventions all over the state selling her stuff. All of these are things I want to do.

Instead of feeling inspired I just feel jealous and angry. I know it’s immature of me and I shouldn’t feel this way. I should just be glad for them, and get my own b*** in gear.

But I’m always so tired. I’m so unmotivated. I’m depressed about various things that seem like they’ll never get better. We don’t have a car and can’t afford one. I’m unable to work because of a disability, so I’m always trapped at home. My hubby works 6 days a week to support us and we’re barely scraping by. It’s all I can do to muster the energy to complete chores around the house. Actually do something creative? Ha.

I don’t even want to try, but I hate myself for it.