I miss walking the alleys of your neighborhood, riding bikes to get ice cream, coffee in the morning, driving you in the winter time, watching lilu go crazy when you get home, Wednesday nights at the garden, watching you put on your make up, how you made your bed, the way the house got so cold near your room, your creepy basement, the bee on your left leg, antiques and candles, I miss turning your heating blanket off in the middle of the night so I could hold you without burning, I miss the way you looked dabbing on the couch while I smoked a joint instead, I miss trying to beat you home from work to clean up before you get there, I miss smoking on your back step, I miss how you felt in my arms, I miss how your eyes could never hide the truth, I miss how you loved everything and everyone, I miss how dedicated you were to your family, I miss you in flats and sweaters, I miss you in your princess jasmine sweater, I miss carrying your toolbox to the mustang or wagon in the mornings, I miss always being faithful to you, I miss the way we used to be. I wish you’d unblock me, you know who you are.