I feel so trapped yet have no motivation to free myself. It’s not much better out there.
I fell in love with my best friend. I may have fallen so far in love that every day brings me pain. Not when he’s there, then I’m happy. Truly happy. Like everything matters and I can feel like myself. But I’m so lonely being apart from him. It’s like a part of me is missing. So we’re moving in together. As friends. And it kills me. But I need it. And now he’s dating a girl. And it kills me. I think it’s making have hateful, mysogynistic thoughts towards women in general and I don’t like that part of myself. I’ll never get to be with him and it f****** kills me.
I was angry disrespectful prideful selfish hypocritical I complained I had worldly sorrow resentment I was insensitive unloving unmerciful uncaring unkind uncompromising immature I overreacted I had a martyr like attitude I was ungrateful irresponsible I overreacted I used profanity l lied I was hypocritical anxious I had a martyr like attitude I was immature lazy I was argumentative defensive and threatening and I hardened my against God’s plan for my life
