17 years
x
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i feel like leaving my life behind… just travel to a new country… get a job there, whatever it is.. whatever the pay is… just work somewhere where i can meet new people… i hate being with the same people all the time… dont get me wrong, i love my friends to death, but sometimes i just want to get out of it all… like leave everything and just go somewhere new… have a fresh start… see what mysterious things life has hidden for me….

do i have issues?

New Confession

We do silly things when we are teenagers. I was engaged to get married right after high school. My husband had already graduated and had joined the service. He left thinking I was pregnant as I had missed my period.
Fact is shortly after he left, with all the stress I must have either delayed it or miscarried as I had a terrible bloody flow for a couple of days.
Well of course I couldn’t tell anyone, but this cute guy I went to school with noticed I was myself and he was so nice and understanding and in the process of cheering me up we flirted and I confided in him and we became close and next thing we were making love after school almost every day. Knew it was wrong, but it felt right and then I got pregnant by him. I was ready to break off my engagement because he wanted me but shortly before we told anyone he died in a motorcycle accident. So I just ended up marrying my BF.
The guy that died was an only child and his parents were grieving; it was so sad. It took me about two years to get up the nerve and because I was home on vacation I went to see his parents. I think that they were a bit confused by the visit, even though they knew that their son and I were close friends I don’t think that they suspected that we had slept together.
Though I think that the mother did once she looked my son who I named after him. I was really doubting if this was the right thing to do until she took my hands in hers and asked me what I wanted to say and then I just blurted it all out and we hugged and cried. Then they showed me pictures of “M” when he was that age, and my “M” was the spitting image of him.
His new grandpa couldn’t stop holding, it was very emotional scene.
for years they would send me money so I could come home and visit my family, and so “M” could see his other grandparents. I kept them updated and sent a lot of pictures.

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